Swirling Mud and the Wait
Trying to understand is like straining through muddy water. Be still and allow the mud to settle. Lao Tzu
I wish I could offer some good advice or suggestions on tolerating this wait, but I can’t. I can however, offer what I hope is some encouragement. Our journey to get Maggie Beth was a swirling quagmire of mud. We struggled, flailed, thrashed, and sank in the bog. How many times the other shore seemed unreachable! The number of times the very people who were supposed to be providing passage through this mire, were pushing us deeper into the mud!
More than once, I was ready to give up. Meanwhile, month after month I assisted others to bring new life into the world- requiring no application fees, homestudies, notaries, certifications, authentifications, translation fees, fed-ex fees, dossiers, etc, etc, etc…. and worse- some had little to no zeal or concern for that precious gift of life. It seemed terribly unfair.
For three years this went on. After our hopes and dreams finally had a face, more unexpected waiting… this was the worst of all. It was pure anguish to think we may miss her first steps because of another unnecessary delay.
Oh for a little more stillness, a little less swirling mud, and little more Faith. If all those people had done their job right, if paperwork wasn’t lost, and our dossier went to China like most peoples’, and the referral followed the timetable in place then, Maggie Beth would not have been born for another 15 months! It makes this wait easier… some days.
Then, there are those other days, I can’t help myself and the mud just churns. All I can say is the red thread is in place- and it surely tangles and stretches and sometimes feels a million miles long-but not letting go is so worth it especially when you finally see who’s at the other end.Hang in there and hang on…